Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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