they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
