i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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