I smell stomach acid.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
