Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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