the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Your cock deserves a montage
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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