went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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