Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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