My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize