Don't you send me to vm
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
