If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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