Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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