come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She bit a glass in half.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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