the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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