I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
