quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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