being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
