how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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