We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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