The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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