i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
two words...techno handjob
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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