Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
