How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
