I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
