I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
