Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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