White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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