I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
