i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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