sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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