that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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