i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
