Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize