But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
