drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize