You can't motorboat a personality
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
