Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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