who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so let's talk penis.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
