i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
