boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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