I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
