why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
