Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
