she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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