found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
