He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
