he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
