just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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