listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
