he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
