I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
