we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
