I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize