I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
