ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
