4 words: hood of his car
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
